


it's a long way home

by monstermash



Series: odds & ends [2]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3
Genre: M/M, Old work, not ever going to finish it so i'm just gonna post it lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 19:39:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13465164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monstermash/pseuds/monstermash
Summary: i wrote this back in 2016, before i started writingthe hand in the gardenand i never bothered finishing it so it's just been sitting in my documents folder. it's not really an AU, but i guess it kinda is since i'm using the hand in the garden as the canon storyline of my playthroughs if that makes sense???lmao anyway, if the writing for this is bad or the characters seem ooc like i said, i wrote this two years ago and haven't touched it since





	it's a long way home

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this back in 2016, before i started writing [the hand in the garden](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8000239) and i never bothered finishing it so it's just been sitting in my documents folder. it's not really an AU, but i guess it kinda is since i'm using the hand in the garden as the canon storyline of my playthroughs if that makes sense???
> 
> lmao anyway, if the writing for this is bad or the characters seem ooc like i said, i wrote this two years ago and haven't touched it since

When they’re thirteen, Jay and Amata spend most of their free time down in Jay’s small shooting range. 

Amata is much better with the BB gun than he is (and he’s pretty damn great with it), though he’s had to get used to his sudden change in height which has thrown off his spatial awareness a bit. He’s been hit with one growth spurt after another that he’s had to keep the arms of his jumpsuits tied around his waist; he grows faster than he can get new suits nowadays.

There’s been gossip going around about them dating, amongst their classmates, none of it is true though. Jay and Amata are only friends, they’d never think of each other in that way.

“Ew, that would be weird,” Amata says, her face scrunched up, as she lines up her shot.

 _“That and you’ve been making moon eyes at Freddie,”_ Jay signs and snickers silently when Amata smacks his shoulder with a huffed “Rude.”

There’s no way there’d ever be anything romantic between them anyway because Amata knows that Jay isn’t interested in girls.

\---

Recently, whenever he and Amata sneak off to head to the range, he feels like he’s being watched. Jay looks and he sees Butch’s eyes tracking them as they move down the hallway. Butch scowls when he notices that he’s been caught staring and heads in the opposite direction.

He only realizes that he stopped walking to watch Butch leave when Amata asks him if something’s wrong.

\---

Jay hates being in the vault; it’s claustrophobic and the recycled air drags unpleasantly through his lungs. He feels trapped and like he might collapse in on himself and implode. He hates how the adults look at him like he’s some sort of feral wild child, like he doesn’t belong here.

Jay just wants to see the outside world.

\---

He’s in a foul mood; his need to leave the vault is pretty bad today and he can’t hang out with Amata right now so he takes to wandering the halls aimlessly.

Jay startles at the arm draped around his shoulder. It’s Butch.

 _“What do you want? Shouldn’t you be stirring up trouble with your gang?”_ Jay signs.

“What, I can’t spend time with my favorite Nosebleed?” Butch asks, ruffling Jay’s tight blond curls as Jay swats at his hand. “Besides they gotta learn to look out for themselves. Ain’t always gonna be here to bail them out of trouble.”

Jay narrows his eyes at him, pushing his messed up hair out of his face. Butch just grins at him, the jerk.

\---

_Okay, so how about after class?_

_Nah man, I’m busy. Got Tunnel Snake business to take care of, but I’m free on Friday._

_Cool, I’ll kick your ass then. Bring a bag, you’re gonna need it._

_What am I going to need a bag for?_

_For your teeth when I knock ‘em outta your mouth._

_Fuckin’ fight me, nosebleed._

_Can’t. You’re busy today._

Jay grins when Butch elbows him in the ribs as he finishes writing in the notebook they have to share as lab partners. 

They’re fifteen and they’ve taken to scheduling their fights just like Butch (and the rest of the Tunnel Snakes) has taken to wearing a leather jacket and styling his hair and Jay has taken to letting his hair grow out and keeping the sleeves of his vault suit tied around his waist (he likes it better this way, less restricting around his shoulders).

Butch tries to scowl at him but he snorts and his mouth twists into a small smile.

They aren’t friends, but they don’t hate each other, not like they used to at least.

\---

It was the worst night of the year, in Butch’s opinion. Vault prom, where the adults force the kids into a room for the night in hopes of playing matchmaker. It was honestly pretty damn disgusting if you asked him. He only shows up to steal some whiskey and is back out the door again; there was absolutely no chance in hell that he was going to put up with whoever they tried pairing him off with.

He has no idea where he’s going; maybe wander the halls for a few hours.

Butch is pulled from his thoughts (and drinking) when he hears someone whistling. He smirks when he recognizes the tune as a Marvin Gaye song and heads toward it. It was of course Jay; looks like Butch isn’t the only one ditching.

“Nosebleed, my man,” Butch says, a tipsy grin stretching across his face as he drapes an arm over the blond’s shoulders. “What’s shaking?”

 _“Going somewhere to hang out until prom is over,”_ Jay signs, still whistling.

“Yeah? Where’s a little songbird like you got a hideout at?” He grins when Jay tries elbowing him in the ribs. Butch knows he isn’t really miffed since Jay is trying to suppress a grin of his own. 

_“Well, I was planning on it being a party of one, but you’ll no doubt get caught playing hooky if I leave you so I guess I’ll have to take you with me. You gotta keep this place a secret though,”_ Jay signs. 

Now Butch was curious, what kinda place had been kept a secret in the vault?

“Scouts honor.” 

Jay smirks at that and oh man, Butch must be drunker than he thought because the first thought in his mind at the sight of Jay smirking like that is ‘it should be illegal to look that gorgeous.’ 

_“Butch DeLoria, you were never a god damn scout.”_

Butch is surprised to discover that Jay’s secret hideout is an old forgotten storage room set up to be a shooting range. 

“How long has this been here?”

_“Since my tenth birthday.”_

“And you’ve been holding out on me this entire time? I’m heartbroken, I thought what we had was special,” he says with mock hurt, left hand grasping at the right side of his chest. Jay’s shoulders bounce with silent laughter, eyes crinkling at the corners.

 _“Your heart is on the left, jerk,”_ he signs as he rummages through a locker, pulling out a BB gun and holding it out to Butch.

“Hope you’re a good teacher then, cause I dunno how to shoot,” he says as he accepts the BB gun handed to him. 

They end up staying there for hours, gradually getting drunker off of Butch’s stolen whiskey. 

It isn’t until the wee hours of the morning, long after prom has ended, that they stagger back to their apartment block, heavily leaning on each other trying hard to not laugh themselves silly.

\---

Most of his classmates were worried about the G.O.A.T. 

Jay not so much. 

He had been mostly distracted by the near constant itch to leave the confines of the vault, the thrum under his skin demanding to leave this place behind. His dad had noticed his odd behavior and asked him to stop by the clinic before he took his exam.

“Well you don’t have a fever. Are you sure you’re all right, son?” Worry was not a good look on his dad.

 _“I’m fine, just nervous I guess,”_ he lied. 

Jay knew that if he told his dad the real reason his dad would just get that sad look on his face again like the last time he had told him. When he told his dad how he had this increasingly intense need to leave the vault, to feel real sunlight on his skin, to breathe real air, to not feel like a caged animal. His dad had smiled sadly at him before telling him that leaving wasn’t possible.

“No need to be nervous, you’ll do fine,” his dad smiled, relieved. “Now go on, don’t want to be late.”

Jay left and headed to the classroom, a prickling sensation of unease and maybe even panic clawing its way up his spine; until he saw Butch and the Tunnel Snakes harassing Amata. 

A good fight was just what he needed to calm himself. 

“I can show you a real Tunnel Snake, Amata,” was all Butch managed to say before Jay punched him squarely in the jaw.

\---

They go into the classroom with bloody faces; Butch had a split lip and Jay with his nose dripping blood. Mr. Brotch only sighed and told them to take their seats.

The panic had subsided but Jay still felt wrong in his own skin, so out of place in this giant hole in the ground. He tried focusing on his test but the sight of his blood dripping onto his desk and test sheet made it difficult. His focus was shot to hell when it took him a few moments to recognize the pencil taps from a few seats behind him as Morse code.

 _What is wrong?_ Of course Butch would notice his odd behavior too.

 _Nothing. Just need to leave._ Butch didn’t answer him which Jay was thankful for.

Seeing everyone else close to finishing the test Jay just answered at random and as he walked up to Brotch’s desk to turn it in all he could think was _‘Anything but medical, anything but medical.’_

"Huh. I wonder who will be brave enough to be your first customer as the vault's new Tattoo Artist? I promise it won't be me." 

Jay was incredibly relieved.

\---

Amata was waiting for him outside of the classroom.

“Thanks for dealing with Butch earlier,” she said, mouth pulled into a half smile as they began walking to the shooting range. “So, what’d you get?”

_“Tattoo artist. You?”_

“I got Management track,” Amata replied, disappointment and resignation obvious in her voice. Jay began to mentally kick himself for asking, because of course she would get Management track, her dad wanted her to be Overseer eventually. “But that’s cool that you got tattoo artist. I don’t think the vault has had one of those since 2208.”

Jay only shrugged in response. When they got to the range he handed her the BB gun and let her go first, to blow off some steam at having her future decided for her by her father.

\---

“So, you got tattoo artist?” His dad asks at dinner, looking at him with a small smile.

It’s at times like this, where he’s sitting across from his dad, that he’s struck by the feeling of looking into a mirror. Same sea grey eyes, same bone structure, and same golden blond hair (though his dad’s is more gray than blond nowadays). They look so similar, but there a few differences; Jay’s hair is naturally in tight curls whereas his dad’s is in loose waves and Jay has more of a wheatish skin tone while his dad looks very pale in comparison.

The slight differences make him wonder what his mom looked like; Jay never knew her and his dad hadn’t kept any photos of her. Or if he did he never shared them.

He realizes he hasn’t replied yet because his dad is still looking at him.

_“Yeah. Wasn’t expecting it.”_

Jay looks too much like his dad that he’s elated that he didn’t get Medical track; he didn’t want to be even more of a replica of his dad than he already was.

\---

“You need a haircut,” Butch tells him as he tugs lightly at one his too long locks. Jay just scrunches his nose.

_“Nah, thanks but no thanks.”_

Butch just rolls his eyes.

“Nosebleed, it is literally my job to cut your hair. Let me do my job. Besides I need the practice hours.”

_“No.”_

“Why not?” Butch asks, one eyebrow raised. Jay remains quiet, hunched over a sketchbook he’s filled with tattoo designs, while Amata is shooting (she doesn’t question why Butch knows about the range, though she obviously wants to).

Butch can tell that Jay is trying to wait him out. He just narrows his eyes at the blond and sits down next to him; they’re both stubborn but he knows he can out stubborn Jay.

They sit there for nearly two hours (Amata left a while ago, something about her training hours) before Jay finally sags in defeat. 

_I look even more like my dad when my hair is too short_ Jay writes on the corner of his current page.

“If you let me cut your hair, you don’t gotta worry about looking like your old man.” 

Jay looks at him expectantly and he grins. Butch tugs at his arm as he stands up.

“C’mon, I’ll show you. It’ll be great.”

\---

The sound of a needle gun on synthetic practice skin was the only sound in the living room of the vacated apartment in the abandoned part of the vault that Jay and Butch had taken to hanging out in recently. 

Being the vault’s tattoo artist left Jay with weird hours (people weren’t exactly lining up to get tattoos. At least the older generation wasn’t. His peers were too busy training for their jobs, like he was, to really have the time to get inked. A lot of them had expressed interest though, so at least there was that), which was why he was here, in their apartment, at 3 in the morning.

His hands froze as he tensed up. 

Fuck, he referred to it as _their_ apartment, as if they lived there together. Jay turned off the equipment and set it aside so he could bury his head in his hands. 

Ugh, he’s gotta stop doing that or else he’s going to ruin this weird friendship that they have (he sees more of Butch than Amata nowadays. Jay doesn’t blame her, Management track has very rigorous hours and Butch’s schedule is closer to Jay’s than Amata’s is. Of course it’s the same for Butch; Jay’s schedule, erratic as it is, is easier to deal with compared to the other Tunnel Snakes’) and honestly? Jay doesn’t think he could bear it down here if Butch stopped hanging out with him.

He exhales loudly through his nose, trying in vain to push thoughts of the gang leader from his mind (and failing), as he looks down at the half finished design on the practice skin. He’s come a long way from when he began, but he won’t really know how good he is until he’s practiced on someone. Maybe he could ask Butch since he let Butch practice on him? Of course that was just hair and this is permanent and on skin and-

Shit, shit, shit. Jay slams down on the mental brakes because his mind is going to go places and like he said earlier, he doesn’t want to ruin their weird friendship.

“What’re you still doing up?”

Jay was glad he had turned off his tattooing equipment because with how hard he jerked in surprise at the sound of a tired Butch DeLoria he would’ve really fucked up the design. The blond turns in his seat to see Butch leaning on the doorframe, barefoot in worn sleep pants and an undershirt.

He’d forgotten that Butch had crashed on the mattress in the other room.

_“Just practicing.”_

The darker haired boy grunts in response as he pushes himself off of the doorframe and takes a seat next to him, now leaning into Jay instead of the cold metal of the vault.

After a moment Jay starts the needle gun up again and continues the design he had been working on as Butch drifts off to sleep.

Jay was 17, Butch newly 18, when he realized, at 3am, that he might be a little in love with the greaser wannabe he called friend.

\---

The next two years passed by quickly. His need to leave the vault only grew and there wasn’t much to distract him from it other than his job (not many of the other vault residents got tattoos other than a few from his age group and what tattoos he gave to himself) and the occasional trip down to the shooting range.

Jay saw less and less of Amata and he missed her, but she was busy with her training like he was busy with his. He and Butch also didn’t get to hang out too much either when it was his busy season, but they still somehow managed to find time.

He wanted to leave this hole in the ground so badly he felt like he might explode, wished for it so much that his entire body ached.

Jay got his wish the day his dad fled the vault.

\---

Jay had been shaken awake at some ungodly hour by Amata. He was too tired to really understand what she was saying and was about to go back to sleep until the words “Your dad is gone” registered in his sleep addled mind. 

_“What do you mean my, dad is ‘gone’?”_ Jay signed to her.

“He’s left the Vault! I don’t know how, but he’s gone, and my father… he’s kind of gone crazy.”

Amata explained the situation and escape plan as quickly as she could before she was shoving a gun – a 10mm pistol from what Jay could tell in the dark of his room – into his hands and leaving in a rush. Jay sat there in a daze for a moment before grabbing a few stimpaks from the First Aid box and the baseball bat that was leaned up against his desk and left without looking back. 

The first time he sees the sky, James “Jay” Cole Jr. feels like he’s finally home.

\---

He loves the outside world, the wasteland. 

For the first time in years he finally feels at home in his skin, the air no longer dragging uncomfortably in his lungs. But now there’s a weird new something that itches at the back of his mind.

There’s a new uneasy feeling lodged in his chest and while the wasteland still feels like home, he knows there’s something – no, _someone_ – missing.

\---

Jay has been gone for about two months, which hey, good for him for finally being able to leave. Butch just wishes that he would’ve taken him with though, but he knows that at the time, if Jay had asked Butch would’ve said no; he had to take care of his ma.

Jay has been gone for two months, and Butch had only gone back to their little hidey-hole in the abandoned apartments once. 

It didn’t feel right to be there without Nosebleed; it felt like he was pretending to wait for him to come back when he wasn’t ever going to. The dusty old place had become a home away from home (Butch lost track of how many times he and Jay had passed out on the pilfered mattress they dragged in here instead of going home), filled with things they had brought; hell, Jay had even left his tattooing stuff in here.

Being there, alone, in that abandoned apartment that had somehow become theirs made him feel like some kind of ghost that was torn in two. He knows what it is.

He misses Jay.

So when the group now known as rebels decided that the vault should be opened Butch threw in his lot with them; anything to leave this tin can buried in the earth. 

Maybe he’d get to see Jay again, if he was still alive.

Unfortunately things had gone sideways real quick; the Overseer became even more paranoid after the Coles left 101 and had imposed ridiculous restrictions which had led to the riots and deaths.

Amata had tried talking some sense into her father but that backfired spectacularly. Now they were holed up in the clinic, waiting for the slim chance that Jay gets Amata’s distress signal and comes back to help them. 

Butch didn’t think Jay was ever coming back. 

Of course, he was proven wrong. 

He was patrolling the halls near the clinic when he heard a whistling that seemed to bounce off the metal walls, somewhere in the distance. Butch could feel his heart race and hear the loud rush of blood in his veins. 

There’s no way it could be Jay, but who else would be whistling that same Marvin Gaye tune like some idiot? The whistling came closer and got louder until it cut off, just around the corner, just out of sight. The anticipation was killing him.

Instead of Jay coming around the corner, it was a dog. 

Butch stood there in stunned silence, until the dog trotted up to him and barked. He continued to stare at the dog, face scrunched up in confusion, while the dog looked at him, tongue lolling out of its mouth before it turned to bark again at whatever was around the corner. 

This time Jay did come around the corner. He looked the same but different. His blond hair was still shaved on the sides, he still had that old model Pip-Boy, those same red sneakers he had left the vault in, and he was still wearing the Tunnel Snake jacket Butch had given him. 

Gone was the vault suit though and in its place jeans, an old white t-shirt, and an unbuttoned red flannel; all covered in patches of dirt and dried blood. 

The rifle and the angry red scar were noticeably new too. 

The scar bisected the left side of his mouth, starting near his left nostril and ended at his chin. It didn’t look like it was healing right; Jay’s mouth was closed, but where the scar and his mouth crossed paths you could see his teeth through the gap that had not closed all the way; it looked like it probably wouldn’t ever close completely.

Jay seemed happy to see him, the way his face lit up with a grin when their eyes met said it all. 

All Butch could think about was how this knucklehead had gotten out but didn’t seem to have the sense to stay gone. 

He was glad to see Jay again (his chest felt light when he laid eyes on Jay’s face), to see that he was alive and still kicking (and had come back to help them but like hell was he going to admit that), but frustrated because the security force was sure to kill him if they caught him. So he did the only thing he could think to do to get his point across.

He punched him.

Jay apparently hadn’t been expecting this since he staggered backwards a step. The dog barked again before tugging on the leg of Butch’s vault suit. Jay gaped at him in surprise; Butch realized that he himself was scowling and shaking with barely controlled anger (and relief). 

Recovering from his shock, Jay grabbed him by his jacket and Butch tensed, ready for a fight, but apparently it was his turn to be surprised. Instead of a head-butt like he’d been expecting he was instead dragged into a fierce hug.

All he could do was blink and furrow his brow; this wasn’t what usually happened between them. Usually it was all snark and biting jokes, punches and kicks. It took him a few moments to register the taps against his right shoulder blade.

_“I gotta go see Amata. We can have our ‘I missed you’ fist fight after I fix this.”_

Butch could only nod. 

Jay released him from the hug, but squeezed his shoulder and shot him an easy grin before continuing down the hall, the dog trailing behind him. His heart was racing and blood was roaring in his ears again. 

\---

The Overseer stepped down from his position and Amata was made the new Overseer. 

Jay had accomplished what they couldn’t do in a month in only a matter of a few hours. After Jay had gathered a few things from his old room (and from their place) he asked Butch if he wanted to come with him. Butch didn’t even hesitate to say yes.

So here they were, in the rocky tunnel that led to the outside world like some weird parallel to that one Greek myth he vaguely remembers from school. Orpheus and Eurydice, he recalls and hopes that they don’t end like they did. Butch knows it’s irrational, but he makes sure he doesn’t look back at Jay just in case. 

The air outside of the vault had him coughing for a solid minute. The light and warmth of the sunshine though, that keeps him going for the surface, Jay next to him the entire way.

The first time Butch DeLoria saw the sky he had never felt more terrified in his life. 

\---

Jay smiles at the view before them, the D.C. skyline in the distance. 

His smile drops and is replaced with worry when he looks at Butch; Butch looks scared, like he might just turn around and go right back into the vault and that in turn scares Jay, but he keeps himself together. Carefully, as if trying to not startle a spooked animal, Jay tugs on Butch’s jacket. Scared blue eyes lock onto his face, Butch’s throat bobbing before he lets out a weak chuckle.

“I never thought the sky would be this big,” his voice barely a whisper, eyes still wide with fear. 

As if sensing Butch’s unease Dogmeat licks his fingers while Jay just holds onto his arm firmly. Butch grasps desperately at Jay’s arm, almost as if he’s afraid that if he doesn’t hold onto something he’ll just float away into the wide open sky. 

Jay can understand that. 

Butch had been born and raised in the vault and was used to the confined space they both hated whereas Jay had been born out here in the Wasteland and had always yearned for this wide open sky. Oh yeah, that was gonna be fun to explain, but that could be saved for later. Right now, Jay should probably get Butch indoors; preferably in his house in Megaton instead of back in the vault. 

If Butch went back into Vault 101 Jay didn’t know if he’d ever see him again since he was no longer allowed inside of it.

Jay begins to lead Butch away from the entrance, headed towards Megaton. Butch grabs his hand before Jay can get too far away from him. Neither lets go of the other as they make their way down; Jay can also feel Butch’s gaze on him. He doesn’t mind. It’s probably easier for Butch to focus on him than the sky and the wide open spaces right now. Dogmeat bounds ahead and barks at them, as if telling them to hurry up, and continues to lead the way home.

When they get to Megaton, Butch seems a little more at ease, the metal fence around the town blocking the sight of the horizon. The sight of Wadsworth soothes Butch’s frayed nerves even more; the sight of a Mr. Handy was familiar even if it wasn’t Andy. Jay finds that it’s difficult to put his gear away one handed since Butch is still holding his other one, but the blond doesn’t mind.

They end up curled around each other that night when they go to bed since Butch refused to let go (not that Jay was complaining. He wasn’t going to say no anytime soon).

Jay thinks that this will be a one-time thing, but Butch proves him wrong the next night and the night after that and doesn’t seem inclined to stop. Soon Jay doesn’t even remember what it was like to sleep alone. He doesn’t mind it though, enjoys it even.

\---

When Jay wakes up one morning and looks at a still sleeping Butch he realizes that the uneasy feeling that had nested in his chest is gone, has been gone since Butch left 101 with him. With a shaky inhale and Butch mumbling something in his sleep Jay realizes what that feeling had been and why he feels so happy and relaxed now.

_Oh._

\---

Jay remembers the term “shell-shocked” from his days in school and wonders if that would be a good way to describe the way Butch is right now. In all honesty it probably is. At least Butch isn’t refusing to go outside, but he does tend to stick close to Jay (not that he minds) and looks at the sky warily as if it’s waiting for the right moment to pluck him off the ground. 

He’s kind of quiet though, but again it’s probably nothing to really worry about; it has only been a couple of days and Butch will get used to being outside he just needs time to adjust. Jay just hopes it won’t take too long. 

A quiet Butch just seems wrong to him.

Moira seems to be ecstatic that Jay is hanging around Megaton more; means him and his “new friend” will be able to help her more with her book according to her. However one of the things she wants him to research is a mirelurk nest but seeing how Butch isn’t quite over the sky yet it probably isn’t a good idea to introduce him mirelurks yet. 

Or centaurs. 

Or Yao guai. 

Or deathclaws.

Molerats should be fine though. Moira had said something about testing out a new molerat repellent. That should be a good way to get Butch used to the dangers out here, maybe even get him to be less worried about the sky. 

Right?

\---

Okay so Jay had never been more wrong in his life. That repellent stick Moira had given them? It did more than repel molerats. It caused their heads to explode. While that is very useful it was also really messy and had gotten everywhere. 

At least Butch wasn’t so focused on being scared of the sky anymore. 

After they reported back to Moira on the effectiveness of the “repellent” Jay wanted nothing more than to crash; it had been a long day of running around chasing after molerats, fighting off some radscorpions, and running away from a rogue Protectron that had opened fire on them. 

One look at Butch and Jay could see that he was just as exhausted. 

On tired legs they made their way back to Jay’s house, Dogmeat constantly weaving his way through their legs excitedly; the dog never seemed to tire. Lucky him.

Butch and Jay ended up on the bed in a heap of tangled limbs, Dogmeat curling up at the foot of the bed.

\---

“So where’d ya get that scar?”

They’re both sitting at the bar in Moriarty’s Saloon after having spent most of the day sneaking in and out of a mirelurk nest (honestly, Butch never wanted to see another damn mirelurk again unless it was on his dinner plate). It had been almost two weeks since they left 101 and Butch has been curious about the scar. Jay uses one of the markers that Gob has started to keep around for him to write his response on his forearm.

 _Y A O G U A I A T T A C K_

Butch scrunches his face at that.

“What the fuck is a Yao guai?”

 _B E A R_ is the answer he gets, written on the back of Jay’s hand this time. Butch snorts at that.

“What were you tryin’ to do? Wrestle it? Steal its honey?” Jay raises an eyebrow at him and smiles wryly before pushing up the sleeve of Butch’s jacket to write on his arm instead.

 _W A S L O O K I N G F O R D A D. I T S N U C K U P O N M E._ Oh. Come to think of it, Butch wondered where the Doc was; hadn’t seen him at all, kinda expected to see him at least once.

“So did you find him?”

_T H E Y A O G U A I O R D A D?_

“Your dad.”

Jay sat there for a few moments before capping the marker and switching to sign.

_“He died. See, dad and I weren’t from the vault. Before I was born, he and a group of scientists were working on Project Purity. It was supposed to provide clean water for the wasteland, but mom died giving birth to me so dad abandoned the project. He decided the vault would be the safest place for me. Amata’s dad let us in because the vault needed a doctor. Before you ask, no, I had no idea that we weren’t really from the vault until my dad told me when I found him.”_

“I guess it makes sense though. You never really seemed like ‘vault material,’” Butch joked, Jay swatting at his arm. “So why’d he leave then?”

 _“Dear old dad wanted to give Project Purity another go. I was helping him and the scientists when the Enclave showed up. Watched him use radiation to kill himself and delay the Enclave from coming after us.”_ Jay’s jaw clenches towards the end. 

Butch doesn’t know what to say to that. Is there anything he could say to that? He settles for slinging an arm around Jay’s shoulder; seems to be the right thing because Jay relaxes and leans into him.

\---

Butch has come a long way in getting used to the wasteland, so Jay thinks it’ll be fine to finally go back to exploring the wastes, this time Butch coming with. It’ll probably be a couple of weeks before they’re back in Megaton again, so at least Jay had gotten more work done for Moira’s book; the new material for it should tide her over for a while.

Jay hasn’t really explored anywhere south of Megaton, has only really been north of it or across the Potomac in the southern ruins, so he figures that they might as well go south and west. 

\---

Rivet City, in Butch’s honest opinion, is the best place in the wasteland. Probably because it reminds him of 101, of numerous metal hallways, but unlike the vault, people have always come and go freely. It’s definitely more comfortable than Megaton.

It kinda surprised him though that quite a few of the residents of Rivet City understood ASL, since Jay was signing to them instead of writing things out to talk with them. When he mentioned this Jay had only shrugged and signed, _“I do enough business here that they picked up enough of it like Gob and Moira did.”_

When they show up to Rivet City this time, with Bryan Wilks in tow, the sun is already setting which means they’ll at least be spending the night here and that means time spent at the Muddy Rudder. Vera gives them a room for the night as payment for making sure her nephew arrived safely. 

They spend most of the night in the Muddy Rudder, drinking enough to at least get a good enough buzz, but not blackout drunk, and playing pool. Calling it quits around 2am, they’re not able to walk straight and Dogmeat has to herd them down the right path a few times, but they do make it back to the hotel room.

Once the door is closed behind them Dogmeat makes a beeline for the space under the table, bumping into Butch and Jay, causing them to fall against the wall. Jay can’t seem to stop himself from his soundless laughing and Butch can feel a smile forming on his own face because wow, Butch doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of seeing Jay laugh, even though he can’t make a sound and oh man when did he start thinking Jay was pretty? 

Butch is still looking at Jay when he seems to have settled down a bit and looks back at him with a small smile, they’re both still leaned against the wall, faces close, when Butch rests a hand on the back of Jay’s head and pulls him in for a kiss. 

Jay is still for a moment before he returns the kiss with enthusiasm and grabbing Butch by his jacket to pull him closer. They break away to catch their breath, both breathing heavily, before they begin to kiss each other feverishly. 

Pushing away from the wall, Butch begins to walk Jay backwards towards the bed until his legs hit the edge of it, then Jay just falls back and drags Butch down with him, the bed squeaks with the sudden combined weight falling on it. They both somehow manage to kick their shoes off with little difficulty. 

Jay peppers Butch’s face with kisses as he pulls his jacket down to his elbows, a clear a sign as any for him to take it off, which Butch does as well as remove his shirt before settling between Jay’s legs again.

Jay nips at Butch’s lower lip before rolling them over so that Jay is straddling his hips and pulling his own shirt off. Their lips meet again in a languid kiss and they roll again, Jay underneath Butch once more. They’re both too drunk and too tired to do anything more than kiss and lazily roll their hips together, but it’s nice.

After one yawn too many though they move to lie on their sides, Jay with his face tucked against the crook of Butch’s neck and curled up against him and Butch with his nose buried in Jay’s hair and an arm wrapped around his shoulders. Butch sighs through his nose and closes his eyes; for the first time since coming topside from the vault he feels good, like he’s home, and he’s hit with a sudden realization.

Jay _is_ his home.

\---

In the morning they have trouble keeping their hands off each other and the only reason they even get out of bed is because Dogmeat is whining to be let out of the room.


End file.
